


Jump in the Caac

by orphan_account



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: im very tired, so take this piece of garbage and enjoy the time i spent 4 hours with a deer, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:53:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27323038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You look through the window and see a deer in your yard.You want to learn more about him.
Kudos: 2





	Jump in the Caac

**Author's Note:**

> Ha haa,
> 
> normally I would've inserted a Jojo character into this, but uuuhhh, none of them would really fit. I doubt Kak or Joot would spend time with a deer, or even act in such a way.
> 
> I doubt some of you will even read this, but that's okay. I wouldn't read this either to be honest.

The air was cooler, drier. It felt nice, like a knife cutting through the skin, carving out words that would never be said, only thought of. Many thoughts flowed, terrible thoughts, violent thoughts, all forming a very familiar ball of invisible tightness in your chest. It was the most soothing feeling, just like the air, still cold, still biting.

A deer sat in the distance, staring with large, bright eyes. One step closer, and soon the crinkle of grass and leaves gained its attention. It stared right through your body. You stayed still and stared back, admiring the lean and brown body before. His antlers were short, not fully grown. He was still watching, black eyes filled with mysterious emotions. His head trailed your body lowering onto the ground. The deer sat as well, ears flickering in all directions. He was calm, fur sleek, body nearly brimming with youthful excitement. You stepped closer, watching as his head turned to you again. You feel your breath become shallow, even but shallow. You want to feel like a deer. You want to know who he is and how he came here.

You inched closer, seeing the deer never move. He remained calm, yet his eyes never trusted you. The air is biting, your feet are cold, your fingers stiff. A few minutes, and you get closer. The deer doesn’t move. You hear birds around you, wings fluttering as songs of love travel through the woods. A sparrow sang with desperation beside you, fighting with another over who won the new territory. You looked back at the deer whose eyes never left your being. You curled up, bringing your knees up to rest comfortably. It’s cold, but the noises made you forget. You forget about yourself; you forget that tomorrow rapidly approaches. One sparrow remained on the branch, victory in his new song. The deer finally looked away, looking in some other direction. A few minutes of peace, and you inched closer again. 

He sat so close, yet so far. His fur glistened in the setting sun. The air continued to bite, the birds around you still singing. The deer’s eyes widen ever so slightly. Both of you seemed to be shocked, perhaps at the closeness, perhaps at the coldness. Yet, you scooted closer, slower and less. You want to stroke his body, to feel his presence, to know him. Yet, his eyes spoke of fear, nervousness. You sat where you were, allowing time to ease the two of you. He adjusted his body with a soft huff; your eyes never left him. The sky was a bright orange. The air numbed your toes and fingers. Your nails looked blue. Yet, you felt nothing. You wanted to be like the deer who was warm and content. You wanted to be like him.

A mockingbird landed on a branch behind you, hissing and chattering widely. You watched the bird carefully. Its tail flickered as angry chatting filled the forest. Two more mockingbirds swoop in, engaged in a fierce battle. Fall had truly come. As the sky turned purple, you felt the air around you seep through you uncomfortably. You stand up slowly, watching the deer bid you farewell as you depart. You remember why you came; you remember that the next day was closely coming. You were running out of time. What a shame you couldn’t be with the deer anymore. He would forget about you, just like the mockingbirds, just like the sparrow with a triumphant sound. Everyone would forget as you turn into dirt that the forest consumed. 

You remembered those who met you, most pitying you for being alone. Your tactic was unique. If you approached people, you would make them uncomfortable. You would be hated under a kind smile. So, why walk up to them? 

You made two friends during your high school life. Both like you, but clearly have other people who are better than you, as most do. In middle school, you had more, but you moved a total of four times within those years, losing every single one slowly. You hoped that they’d forgotten about you and how awful you were. You hoped they hated you, despised you, wanted you dead. The sky grew darker, you wanted to keep going a bit further.

What a shame that you were too weak to continue walking.

Air flowed out in wheezing breaths and staggered coughs. The coldness hurt, drying your throat. Shaking hands gripped a knife, soon to be stained with blood. No eyes would watch you; no eyes would stare. You hoped that no one would stumble upon the mess. You wouldn’t be able to clean up. How dare you dirty this sacred forest with your stained being. _Disgusting._

It would hurt. _Oh God, it would hurt._ You didn’t want this, but what choice would you have. Selfish desires? Selfless suffering? Death was the only way that you could redeem yourself from a meaningless future and a worthless attempt. You failed once before, many times before. You had to complete it. You _had_ to finish it. 

_This is our chance, why are you so still? Why aren’t you moving? Stab yourself, save us, free us. Please, just stop this. We don’t want this, none of us do. Why do you hesitate? Can you really just continue? Are we destined to suffer?_

_Do you not want all of this stop?_

_Don’t you want to be happy, to start over?_

_**The air is cold. Blood runs from your shoulders, sting cuts dripping with a thin line of blood. You have failed. Your eyes stare into the black abyss of the sky. The moon rises lazily, bright light shooting like a spotlight through the leaves. You would cry if you could, but your body can only leak blood as a reminder that you can never be saved. You stain the forest and walk away, knife in still hands. You can’t feel your body.**_

You felt eyes pierce through, black eyes that speak of countless lives. The sky was orange, morphing into a pale purple. You were in your backyard, shrubbery covering a suburban background. A deer sat in front of you, closer than you had ever seen one. The air was cold, and your fingers and toes were numb. Birds scattered as you move just a hair closer. A door slams in the distance, both of you turning your heads. The neighbors shout before the door closes quietly. You turn away, intent on spending time with your new friend. The deer turned away, choosing to groom its body.

Shivers wracked through your body, your warmth no longer supplying you. You stand carefully, watching as the deer looks at you with curious eyes. You back away, nodding your head farewell as you walk into your house. Your mother sat in the living room, watching some political show that you didn’t care for. 

She would yell at you the next day, but you wouldn’t know that until then, _would you?_

You enter your room and look at the cluttered garbage and clothes thrown about. _You should clean up_ , you thought for the second week in a row. However, you didn’t want to. You were tired and wanted to rest. 

You had already slept earlier.

You couldn’t go back to sleep.

So you sat on the floor, too tired to rest on your bed like a normal person. The laptop’s light gave you a headache, but a long lost friend had resurfaced on the web. You could cry if you could, but instead you put on music and let your mind wander through the various spider webs of thought that plagued it today. Soon, thinking was tiring, and you closed your eyes, feeling your headache throb and your mind scream.

_What a shame._

**Author's Note:**

> I have other fics planned with semi-decent drafts. School and college have just been grinding on me, plus fall and winter have never been good to me on the emotional spectrum.
> 
> That deer was chill though. I felt like I made a new friend that day and that we connected somehow. He was really nice by doing absolutely nothing but being there. Crazy how that works, huh?


End file.
